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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179350">Spells, Charms, &amp; Incantations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorak23/pseuds/Zorak23'>Zorak23</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>BlaiseIsAGoodFriend, Cheese, CheeseToastie, DracoHasNoIdea, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Muggle Magic, Post-War, SeductiveCheese, VulgarPorridge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:00:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,054</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29179350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zorak23/pseuds/Zorak23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco, having returned to Hogwarts to complete his 8th year, finally musters the courage to act upon his feelings for the Gryffindor Princess. With a little help from Blaise and a bit of muggle magic, can Draco succeed in winning her affection? And who knew cheese could taste so good?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>135</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Spells, Charms, &amp; Incantations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladysashi/gifts">ladysashi</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/JacqP/gifts">JacqP</a>, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmbiguousGoldfish/gifts">AmbiguousGoldfish</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The idea for this story originally came from ladysashi, who posted a photo in the Granger Enchanted Survivors group on Facebook and asked if anyone would write a fic about fascinating Hermione with a piece of cheese. </p><p>JacqP had several amazing plot points to add, and then summoned me to write it for her. This is dedicated to the both of them, as well as to my lovely beta who has recently developed a dairy allergy and had to give up her one true love: cheese. </p><p>As always, Black Lives Matter and trans rights are human rights.</p><p>Beta Love: AmbiguousGoldfish, the best beta in the world. Brit-picked by JacqP, my favorite Northern Lass.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>Blaise blatantly stared at his best mate as Draco tried to surreptitiously watch Granger from across the library. He shook his head in exasperation; the bloke had it bad for the princess of Gryffindor, and she had no idea. </p><p>“Mate, just go <em> talk </em> to her. She said at the beginning of the year that she forgave us—all the Slytherins, really—and has actively been working towards fostering inter-house relationships.”</p><p>Draco glared at his friend. “That is not the type of relationship I am interested in regarding Granger and you know it, Zabini.” </p><p>“Well, you shan’t even have a friendly relationship with her if you won’t fucking <em>talk</em> to her, you great pillock,” Blaise growled under his breath. “Look, Draco. We’re in a library. Go see if you can find a book about how to talk to the woman of your dreams. And maybe one on how to stop talking <em>about</em> her in your sleep.” He watched dispassionately as Draco glared at him and begrudgingly stood to walk towards the stacks. Blaise leaned back in his chair to track his friend’s progress, and as soon as the last flash of platinum hair was out of sight, he leapt up and sauntered over to the Gryffindor’s table. </p><p>“Granger,” he said, dropping effortlessly into a seat across the table from her.</p><p>Hermione looked up in surprise. “Oh, hello, Zabini. I’m sorry, I didn’t see you.” She gestured to the Arithmancy books she’d strewn over the table. “My mind was elsewhere.”</p><p>“I’m shocked,” Blaise said dryly, making her chuckle. Thinking quickly, he continued, “That’s actually why I’ve come. Would you be willing to work with us on Vector’s latest assignment?”</p><p><em> “Professor </em>Vector, and of course. The new array is just fascinating, isn’t it?” She pushed a curl behind her ear, and as her eyes lit up in excitement, Blaise decided he was beginning to see exactly what Draco saw in the muggleborn girl. Whilst rather plain at first glance, her unfortunate hair looked soft when one was up close, and her brown eyes were warm and inviting. He shook his head, as if to clear it, and nodded in agreement. </p><p>They chatted for a while longer, and had just made plans for the three of them to meet in the library the following day to revise and complete the assignment, when Blaise caught sight of Draco emerging from the stacks. “Thanks again, Granger. We’ll be here tomorrow after lunch.”</p><p>“Alright,” she replied, already getting lost back in her books. Blaise smirked at Draco’s expression when he realised where his friend was, then winked at him and tilted his head towards the doors. He waited while a fuming Malfoy checked out a slim volume, then fell in step beside him and walked back down to the Slytherin common room, with Draco silently seething. </p><p>Once they’d breached the passage to the common room, and before Draco could explode in anger, Blaise turned to his friend and grinned. “Aren’t you going to thank me? I just got you a date with Granger.”</p><p>Draco stumbled back a few steps, all previous tension draining out of him at once, and collapsed onto one of the leather sofas. “You did what, now?”</p><p>“I’ve set up a date for you with Granger. To study. For Arithmancy—that new array of Vector’s. I’ll have to be there, too, of course, at least for this first time. It’s more of a ‘study group’, really.” Draco growled at that, and Blaise hurried to continue. “I’ll bow out quickly, mate. I’ve it all planned. The three of us will meet in the library, then after half an hour or so, I’ll wander off, never to return.”</p><p>Draco stared up at his friend in disbelief. Blaise looked incredibly proud of himself, and Draco wanted nothing more than to punch him in his stupid face. </p><p>“I fucking hate you so much.”</p><p>“But you’ll be there?” Blaise pressed. </p><p>“Of course I’ll be there, wanker. I still hate you, though. One can do both, quite easily, I find.”</p><hr/><p>Somehow Draco managed to get through his ‘date’ with Granger without either killing Blaise or getting hexed by the girl of his dreams. He still wasn’t quite sure how that had happened, if he were completely honest with himself. Although killing Blaise was still an option, he mused as he watched the object of his potential homicidal intent saunter across the grounds towards where he was sitting beside the Black Lake. </p><p>“Well?” Blaise asked, dropping down to sit beside his friend. </p><p>“‘Well’ what?”</p><p>Blaise huffed petulantly and nudged Draco’s shoulder with his own. “How’d it go?”</p><p>“You’d know if you’d stuck around,” Draco pointed out. </p><p>“That wasn’t the plan!” Blaise dramatically fell backwards, throwing an arm across his forehead as he lay back. “Don’t tell me you bollocksed it up, mate.”</p><p>Draco scowled down at his soon-to-be former friend. “We revised. We worked on the array. What do you want me to say?”</p><p>“That’s <em> it?” </em>Blaise exclaimed, sitting back up and staring at Draco in shock. </p><p>“I bloody well <em> talked </em> to her, wasn’t that the ‘plan’?”</p><p>“Well, yes, but… that’s <em> it?” </em></p><p>Draco glanced around furtively before saying, “Well, one other thing happened…”</p><p>“Do tell,” Blaise said, all but rubbing his hands together in anticipation. </p><p>“You remember that book I checked out yesterday?” Puzzled by the need for whispering, Blaise nodded affirmatively. Draco handed him the book, gesturing to the marked page. As he cracked it open, Draco continued, “She had a quill stuck in her hair. When I helped her untangle it, one of her pins fell out.”</p><p>Blaise slid his finger into the book to hold his place, and double checked the title on the cover. <em>“The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft? </em>Draco, isn’t this from the muggle studies section?”</p><p>“It has real spells in it, you tosser,” he replied defensively and crossed his arms. “I’ve already tried a few out. But the chapter on Spells, Charms, and Incantations is what made me check it out. Look,” he jabbed his finger at a specific passage. “Right there, page ninety-seven. ‘To win a maiden’s love, get a hair and a pin off her unperceived, twist the hair around the pin, and then throw them backwards into a river.’”</p><p>“Mate—”</p><p>“So I was thinking I’d have to use the Black Lake, as there isn’t a handy river nearby—”</p><p>“There’s one in the Forbidden Forest, actually, but my point was that—”</p><p>“Damn it Blaise! Are you going to help me or not?” Draco demanded, pushing roughly to his feet. </p><p>“Of course I’ll help you! I was just pointing out that you’ve a couple flaws in your plan,” Blaise said quickly, leaping to his feet in an effort to reassure his friend. “Mate. The lake isn’t a river, but there <em> is </em>one nearby. And depending upon when that book was written, Granger may not fit the parameters of being a ‘maiden’.”</p><p>“I highly doubt women have changed that much in the past few hundred years, Blaise.”</p><p>Chuckling at Draco’s dry tone, Blaise picked up a rock and tossed it into the lake. “I’m rather sure ‘maiden’ means ‘virgin’ in that context.”</p><p>“And?” </p><p>“And she dated Viktor bloody Krum. And the weasel. Whom she spent months in a tent with, with only the boy wonder for supervision. Hell, she could’ve been fu—” His words were cut off when the tip of Draco’s wand was suddenly pressed to his throat. “Mate,” he said softly, pushing down the slim piece of wood. “I didn’t mean it as a slight on her character. Merlin knows I’ve shagged half the girls in our year. And half again as many blokes. I was just pointing out that it’s highly unlikely Granger is still a virgin.”</p><p>“Fuck off, Zabini. This will work.” Draco returned to carefully wrapping the long, curled hair around the pin, and made a point of ignoring his friend. </p><p>Blaise tossed a few more rocks into the Black Lake, then shrugged and dusted his hands off on his trousers. He rolled his shoulders, then tilted his head in the direction of the Forbidden Forest and said, “Come on, then. Let’s go to the river.”</p><hr/><p>“Hide me!”</p><p>Blaise looked up, startled, as Draco rushed into the library and dived under the table where he’d been sitting. </p><p>“Alright there, mate?” he asked, struggling not to laugh at the blind panic on his friend’s face. </p><p>“No I'm not bloody well ‘alright’,” Draco hissed. “Patil is after me!”</p><p>“Patil? That quiet bird in Ravenclaw? Why’s she after you?” Blaise was honestly shocked. He’d had several NEWT level classes with the studious girl; she’d always been pleasant, and rather shy. </p><p>“Sit up, Zabini! You’re being obvious. I’m not even here. And not the Ravenclaw Patil—the Gryffindor one.”</p><p>Blaise relaxed in his seat, and made a show of opening a different book. “Ah, yes. I’d forgotten there were two. What did you do?”</p><p>“Nothing!” came an indigent hiss from under the table. </p><p>“Oh, I see. So since you’ve done nothing, you wouldn’t mind if I told Patil where you were? She’s just walked in…” Blaise was thankful he’d thought to cast a <em> Muffliato </em>charm around the table as soon as Draco had dived under it, as the incredibly high-pitched noise that emanated from below him would surely have had them kicked out of the library. </p><p>“Fine! I’ll tell you, just <em> promise </em> me you’ll keep quiet!”</p><p>“Go on, then.”</p><p>Draco sighed, and Blaise could hear rustling sounds as he tried to get comfortable in the cramped space. “I tried another one of those spells.”</p><p>“From the muggle book?” Blaise snickered. “I thought you’d given up on that after the river one didn’t work.”</p><p>“Well, you may have been right about the meaning of the term ‘maiden’. And for your information, the second one <em> did </em>work. Quite well, in fact.”</p><p>“Did it? Because I assumed that since you’re hiding beneath a table in the library and begging me to hide you, it would suggest that the muggle spell did not, in fact, work.”</p><p>“Wanker. It worked. I just stole the wrong shoe.”</p><p>“I beg your pardon?”</p><p>“I <em> stole </em> the wrong <em> shoe,” </em> Draco said tightly. “The spell said to ‘take a shoe that the woman you love has worn, fill it with rue, and hang it over your bed to make her love you.’” There was silence for a bit, and some more rustling, before he continued. “I may have accidentally taken one of Patil’s shoes instead of Granger’s.” </p><p>Blaise put his head down on the table to try to hide his face—his tears of laughter would give Draco’s position away, even if no one could hear his guffaws. </p><p>“Well if you’re going to be like that, at least go empty the shoe for me. And maybe get it back to her,” Draco said sullenly. </p><p>“Don’t pout, I’ll do it,” Blaise replied, once he had caught his breath. “Just… stay here, I guess. I’ll be back when it’s safe. I’ll just stick her shoe in the lost-and-found, yeah?”</p><p>“Ta for that.”</p><p>Still chuckling, Blaise rose to save his best friend from the amorous intentions of the wrong Gryffindor.</p><hr/><p>Draco was scowling at his porridge when Blaise dropped into the seat next to him at the table. Taking in his friend’s miserable countenance and nearly visible aura of despair, Blaise sighed and nudged him with his shoulder. </p><p>“Porridge being a cunt again? I’ll have a talk with the elves, see if they can cook the arseholery out of it.” </p><p>Draco looked up at him and blinked. “What?”</p><p>“You’re looking at your food like it just Avada’d your dog.”</p><p>“I don’t have a dog, as you well know.”</p><p>“Not the bloody point, but alright,” he said with a sigh. “What’s that look for, then?”</p><p>“I’ve tried nearly everything in the book. Nothing has worked.”</p><p>“Again, it’s a <em> muggle </em> book.”</p><p>“Fuck off. Some of it does work, just… not quite right.”</p><p>Blaise rolled his eyes and started spooning mushrooms onto his plate. “Yeah, the shoe thing was pretty funny, actually. Pass the toast?”</p><p>Draco glared at him as he handed it over, then continued. “I tried the one with the drops of blood last week, and the one with ashes from my shirt the week before that…”</p><p>“Mmm, that was the one for girls to use, wasn’t it?” Blaise interrupted, chewing quickly before he spoke. “I didn’t have high hopes for that one, seeing as how you aren’t a girl, and Granger isn't a bloke,” he shrugged. “Plus, I can’t imagine she’ll be happy when she finds out you put the ashes from your sweaty shirt in her tea.”</p><p>“Moving along,” Draco said pointedly. “I’m down to the last one, and even <em> I </em>think it’s ridiculous.”</p><p>“Oh?” Blaise speared a sausage off Draco’s plate, then deftly dodged the swipe aimed at his head as he stuck his fork in his mouth. Once he’d swallowed, he asked, “What’s the last one?”</p><p>Draco sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve no idea, to be honest. It just says, ‘You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.’”</p><p>Blaise’s face was deceptively blank. “What, now?”</p><p>“‘You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.’ Yes, that’s it; no, I don’t know what it means. No, I’ve no idea how that could possibly work; and yes, of course I’m going to try it. I’m just waiting on an owl from Mother.”</p><p>Blaise snorted, nearly choking on his breakfast. “You wrote to your <em> mother </em> about the muggle magic book?”</p><p>“Piss off, Zabini. Of course I didn’t. I asked her for some cheese. The kinds they serve here are shite. If this is my last chance, I want to be sure I’ve given it every effort. Besides, today is our last study session before the array is due. Last week I said I’d bring the snacks.”</p><p>“Pince lets you eat in the library?”</p><p>“No, we’ve been meeting in an empty classroom.”</p><p>Blaise raised his eyes at that revelation, and asked, “Want me to wait for the post with you?”</p><p>“Are you going to try to nick some of Mother’s cheese?”</p><p>“Is it the kind she makes cheese toasties with?” </p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“Then yes.”</p><p>“Then no, I don’t want you to wait.”</p><p>“Bit rude, mate.”</p><p>“Piss off.”</p><p>Blaise was still chuckling as he walked out of the Great Hall, alone, leaving Draco to wait for the post.</p><hr/><p>Draco stood nervously outside of the empty classroom, trying to find the courage to open the door and go inside. Disregarding the fact that he’d met the girl in the same room every Saturday for the past two months, he chose instead to focus on the fact that this was his last chance to woo his love. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear Blaise shouting about ridiculous muggle magic books and traditional courting and ‘just fucking open the door, you daft wanker,’ but he shoved the lone voice of reason down and decided mild panic was a better choice. As was banging his forehead on the door. Maybe that would knock some sense into his thick skull. </p><p>He was just about to turn to leave—because really, the entire cheese thing was just preposterous, wasn’t it? It’s not like there was a single chance the spell would work—when the door in front of him opened. Startled, he took a quick step back, the only outward show of surprise his upbringing would allow. </p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry, Malfoy. Was the door locked?” Hermione asked. Draco blinked at her, unable to process language for the moment. “Er, you knocked, instead of just coming in? Like you usually do?”</p><p>He nodded dumbly, then held up the hamper his mother had sent. “Snacks. Eat them.” Draco closed his eyes in embarrassment, yet still heard her small giggle at his words. He cleared his throat and tried again. “My apologies, Granger. I’ve brought snacks for us to eat this afternoon.”</p><p>“Oh, wonderful! I missed lunch.” She stepped away from the door, allowing him entrance. Draco followed her into the classroom and placed the hamper on a desk. He opened it, then pulled out a tray loaded with various meats and cheeses, containers of fruits, and packets of delicate crackers. Once he had the charcuterie assembled, he pulled out a bottle of butterbeer and two glasses, and set to pouring their drinks. </p><p>“My, this looks lovely!” Hermione exclaimed, taking the fluted glass from his hand. “What’s the occasion?”</p><p>Draco nearly got lost in her eyes as she looked up at him, but managed to reply. “No occasion, really. I’d just mentioned to Mother that I missed her cheese toasties, and she sent me the hamper…” He trailed off when he realized that Hermione was no longer listening, and was instead moaning with delight over the bite she’d just taken. </p><p>“Gods, Malfoy, this is delicious! What kind of cheese is this?” </p><p>“Er, it’s, um…” he had to stop and take a breath, as the sounds she was making had caused his trousers to suddenly become too tight. “I believe that one is the Wkye Farms Cheddar. It’s actually a muggle brand.”</p><p>Hermione’s jaw dropped. “Wyke Farms Cheddar?”</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Malfoy. Wyke Farms Cheddar is over £100 a pound.”</p><p>Draco shrugged. “It makes really good cheese toasties.” </p><p>She stared at him for a moment, before snorting a laugh and popping another piece in her mouth, moaning in delight once more. “Goodness. I’d <em> marry </em> you just to have daily access to this cheese, and your mum uses it for cheese toasties. Unbelievable.”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>They stared at each other for several long seconds, Hermione with confusion, and Draco with mortification and a slim ray of hope. </p><p>Finally, he said, “I rather thought we’d go on an actual date first, instead of just revising together, but if you want to get married now, we can.”</p><p>He watched as her confusion gave way to the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen, and delighted in the blush that stole over her cheeks. When she dipped her head down so that her curls hid her face, he took a chance. Stepping forward, he placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head up, then slowly, slowly, leaned down and kissed her.</p><hr/><p><strong>AN:</strong> This is the photo that inspired the fic:</p><p>
  
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